


Switch

by drinkingstars



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: BDSM, Breathplay, F/M, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-05
Updated: 2012-04-05
Packaged: 2017-11-03 05:56:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/378047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drinkingstars/pseuds/drinkingstars





	Switch

It takes longer than Mia predicts--about two weeks--for Darren to knock on Chris’s hotel room door, somewhere in the middle of the country. Darren isn’t resting, and it shows around his eyes, tight-lined and slightly red behind his glasses, around his tense jaw and his frayed edges. Chris has fared a little better lately than he normally does, the mental exertion of the script and book and the physical exertion of the show every night actually doing a pretty good job of wearing him into an almost healthy sleep schedule.

By the time Darren comes to him, he is shaky, anxious, and Chris guesses he hasn’t slept in days. Chris tilts his head, and waits.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Um...I just...I haven’t been able to sleep. For a while. I can’t really...”

“Shut down?”

“Right. Exactly. It’s like...like I have a switch somewhere. I can’t reach it?”

“I understand...and is there...you think I can help?”

“Mia said...I...I don’t really know if you...” Darren fidgets his fingers at the back of his own neck, looks quickly from Chris’s eyes down to his feet.

“I do. And I can.” Chris steps back, leaving enough space between himself and the open door for Darren to come in when he’s ready.

“Do you...do you think it’s too weird?” Darren hesitates, looking away again and staring past Chris at a spot in the room. The bed, maybe.

Chris reaches up, touches just the inside edge of one fingertip under Darren’s chin, lifting his face to meet Chris’s eye line, and just that, just _that_ , is enough to make Darren’s shoulders drop, make waves of relief waft off of him, the outpouring of tension so heavy and visceral Chris can practically smell it. Chris takes a slow, deep breath along with him as Darren unfurls, breathing with him and never breaking the eye contact.

“We’re already, um, pretty weird, Darren. If you need...someone...I think we can work something out.” He smiles, going for comforting but enigmatic, if that’s even a thing--he never knows how his awkward facial expressions and goofy grins translate to his dom side, but somehow it works. Darren looks like he’s about to say something but stops himself, then inhales again and takes the last step through the doorway. He tries to slump into Chris, arm open for him in a half-hug that is purely reflex between them by now, and Chris almost, _almost_ wraps him into his arms, out of habit. He stops himself too, pushes Darren back with a palm flat against his chest.

“Ahhh...that, I believe, is in your _reward_ category.” Chris can’t help but grin a little at the look on Darren’s face--aghast, and kind of grateful. Chris has never denied him a hug, a kiss, or really, anything, before, and Chris can tell his eagerness and curiosity are piqued. He can also tell Darren is so tangibly exhausted, he’s going to have to be careful not to overreach tonight. Chris scrutinizes the situation as the door swooshes shut, raising a finger to quiet Darren when he can tell he’s about to start chattering nervously. Darren closes his mouth, and waits.

Chris stands over him, looking down into Darren’s eyes and feeling his own height, lengthening his spine a bit as he breathes in, steadies himself for this. He puts one hand on Darren’s shoulder, rubs it gently for a moment, then speaks.

“First, I want you to sit in that chair, and take off your shoes. Set them next to the chair. As long as your shoes are off, I would like you to try not to speak unless you have a specific question, or unless I ask you a question. Is that ok?” Darren nods, slowly and carefully, looking up at Chris with unmistakable affection and trust and _thank you_.

Chris smiles reassuringly, lets his shoulder go with a firm squeeze, and watches as Darren follows his instructions, carefully lines the shoes up between the chair and table. Chris looks him up and down, the familiar lines and curves of his face, his back, turning all of this over in his head and wondering if there’s any way for it not to be incredibly weird, the first time at least. He resigns himself that, no, there probably isn’t, but it’s his responsibility to try, to make it as good for Darren as he can. “Would you like me to have an on/off as well? Just so you know, I will be keeping my clothes on...just now, anyway.”

Darren looks taken aback and like he wants to ask a question, but thinks the better of it. Chris give him a careful once over, thinking he can imagine what the question was, and settles his eyes down at Darren’s socked feet, flat on the floor and in perfect alignment, Chris realizes. His posture in the chair is also straight, meaningful, attentive. Darren is quiet for another minute, takes his glasses off and lays them on the table, then calmly, thoughtfully answers, “you have like, a leather wristband...I’ve seen you wear it...”

Chris nods his head once, and turns toward the closet area where his luggage is piled. “I do have a cuff, and I will wear it for you. As long as I’m wearing it I’m taking care of your needs and you are free to go...as deep as you are comfortable. If I want to stop I will always bring you safely out of any place you’ve gone before taking it off. You can touch the cuff at any time and we will stop. Does that work for you?” Chris looks at him expectantly and Darren nods emphatically, then verbally confirms as well, “yes, perfect. This is...you’re very good at this. Thank you.”

“Well...good. And you’re welcome, I think,” Chris continues, turning back toward the closet so Darren can’t see the faint blush he feels rising on his cheeks. “While I find a few things, I want you to think of any hard limits you want to restate, bearing in mind that Mia has told me your limits as she understands them. I want you to tell me three things you want from this. I will be choosing your rewards--” Chris stops and unzips a bag full of belts and other accessories, looking back over his shoulder at Darren as his fingers find the buttery soft leather he is looking for.

He pulls it out, along with a wide leather belt and a few scarves, laying the other items on the bed and looking down at Darren reverently as he wraps the simple leather cuff around his wrist. He holds his arm out for Darren to buckle the bracelet for him, enjoying the symbolism of the gesture, as well as the light touch of Darren’s fingertips inside his wrist. He sighs as the last strap slips through the buckle and smiles at Darren in approval, then adds, “and, obviously, we are clear that the cuff is only an on/off signal and does not imply any permanent, uh--”

Chris pauses, groping for a word to complete a thought that has suddenly escaped him. He and Darren already have so many commitments, attachments, obligations to each other, and they feel, to him, permanent. _Darren_ feels permanent, and it seems strange to try to stipulate that this one thing isn’t meant to be anything more. It almost certainly will be.

Darren looks up at him, open and hopeful, and Chris regains his composure, stroking his hand over Darren’s cheek and holding his head in his palm. “It’s not a collar and it’s not a contract. Duh, obviously,” he finishes and kind of laughs, hopes it doesn’t make him sound ineffective. Much to his relief, Darren laughs too, leaning happily into Chris’s touch, and quietly, a bit nervously repeats, “obviously.”

Chris arches one eyebrow at Darren, running the tip of his thumb over Darren’s bottom lip before moving to sit on the end of the bed. He fingers the scarves and belts, clearing his throat before looking seriously at Darren with one more instruction. “I will always make sure you are able to reach my cuff. Touching it will be your safeword...because I do plan to cover your mouth.”

\--

When Darren finally wakes up, Chris is sitting in the plush club chair pulled close to the bed, the blackout curtains open to just let one narrow stripe of sunlight fall across the room. Chris stops typing and pushes his laptop away as Darren stretches, cracks and pops a few things, rubs his hands dazedly through his insane mop of messy curls. “What...woah. What time...uh, what day is it?” Darren laughs, a little bashful again...floppy, Chris thinks as he slides out of the chair and back onto the bed alongside Darren.

“Almost noon. You hungry?” Chris asks, wrapping his hand close around Darren’s bicep. He likes to keep touching after something like last night, keep the connection. Make sure Darren knows he’s still there.

“Noon?!? Christ, what did you do to me?” Darren asks with a twisty little quirked lip.

Chris sits back, crossing his arms over his chest and looking smug, then rolls his eyes at Darren. “Little of this, little of that. You went down pretty hard after you...when you were done. I cleaned you up and untied you. You’ve been asleep for like nine hours, yeah...” Chris trails off, drops his head but follows Darren’s bare ass with his eyes as he manages to wriggle out of the covers.

Darren laughs and shakes his head, gives Chris’s shoulder a friendly squeeze as he stiffly, a little gingerly, shuffles across the carpet to the bathroom, muttering to himself. “I don’t think I’ve slept nine hours since, like, high school.”

\---

“So...how do you think that went?” Chris prompts when they’re mostly done with their burgers, dredging one more French fry through the basil aioli on the side.

Darren wipes his mouth and takes a gulp of ginger ale. “Well...well? Uhh...well I don’t remember much after...the old _petit mort_ , I think they call it? I mean...I _went_...”

“Oh you went alright,” Chris says with a bit of a snort and a snuffly laugh. “I was worried about whether you’d go under the first time but...wow.”

“Oh, I go. I go down...blindfold and gag me and I’m...yeah. Did I...did I uh, come?” Darren mumbles the last bit and busies himself with his last bite of burger, getting it just right.

“This is a very odd conversation,” Chris laughs, shaking his head at himself, at both of them. “Yeah, yeah you came. I didn’t even touch you...I mean, not there. I barely even spanked you. I think it was just, relief?”

“Daaaaamn. You’re good. I can take a lot more, though. Just so you know...” Darren says shyly after he swallows, nudging Chris in the ankle with his foot, soft with some ridiculously overpriced sock.

“I’m sure you can. And I think maybe we’re both good, it turns out. Lucky us.” Chris smiles, brushes a wayward curl off Darren’s forehead.

Darren basks in his touch, curling into his hand. “So...what was my reward?”

Chris shifts around, sits up on his knees to move their room service tray off the bed so they can sprawl out and relax a little while longer. He pulls Darren alongside him and into his arms, brushing his lips against his shoulder as he settles. “Cuddling. I cuddled you while you slept...rubbed your shoulders. Tickled your back for a while.”

“Mmmm...” Darren just sighs, sleepy and content sounding. “I liked it.”

\--

Chris remains dressed again, instructs Darren to remove his clothes, how to fold them and place them on the dresser. Darren responds well to these simple things, to being told where to place his socks, how to lie on the bed...he isn’t bound and they aren’t really doing anything specific, it’s just understood that this is their time. Chris can hear Darren’s mind whirring and knows he isn’t really letting go, and starts thinking about spanking him with his hand, or what else he can do to calm him. Darren turns his body slightly, but carefully keeps his groin pressed into the pillow Chris has placed under him.

“So can I ask...one of the things I told you I wanted, that first night.”

Chris feels his cheeks warm slightly and he looks down at where his fingertips are absently brushing up and down the back of Darren’s thigh. He turns his face to a cool part of the pillow and looks at Darren, his face flushed and dewy with perspiration, just the light sheen of being kept in this space. His eyelashes flicker as he focuses on Chris’s face so close to him.

“Yes. Yes. You said you wanted to get me off. Or, at the very least, you wanted me to _get_ off.”

“Mmmm hmmm, and you haven’t really let me...do anything. I mean you’re very good at the other stuff. The discipline...”

“I’m disciplining myself, too,” Chris interjects, thinking of his many perfectly well-formed arguments for the boundaries he’s made up for himself, for them.

“But don’t you want to get off too?”

“I get off in a different way...I get off from the practice, from learning...what I can do to you.” Chris lets his hand slip over Darren’s lower back to his hip, to his ass, just lays his palm there, warm against Darren’s cool, bare skin.

“But don’t you get turned on? I know you...you get hard. I’ve felt it.”

“It’s not...that’s separate, to me, I guess? It’s hard to explain. I just feel like...like I can be good at this and take care of you and it doesn’t have to be about...getting off?”

Darren licks his lips and pulls back a little, eyeing Chris bemusedly. “I think it’s been about getting off since the first time you cleaned my come off my chest, Chris. I mean honestly. And isn’t that...I mean what, you just wait it out and then jerk off later like it’s not related? Isn’t that frustrating?”

Chris tilts his head and looks at Darren and he can’t help the tiny, cocky smirk that he feels creep across his mouth. “I think maybe it frustrates you more than it does me?” Chris pulls his hand back and lays one perfect open-palmed slap against the fleshy undercurve of Darren’s ass.

Darren shudders with surprise and straightens his posture, but doesn’t stop. “It does, actually. It makes me feel like...like I’m only holding up one part of the bargain...or whatever. I mean it’s all...trade-offs. But it’s not just that I submit to you, which is amazing. And then I get to come, and yes I get lovely rewards. But part of that is supposed to be the pleasure, the satisfaction, that I know that I pleased you, that my...behavior. Was so pleasing to you that you had to get off. To me. On me. Whatever.”

“You’re begging...are you begging?” Chris is still fighting to control his grin but it’s harder now.

“You like begging? I’m a really good beggar, too. I can do it, if it’ll get my hands on you. Or just...you, on me.” Darren’s eyes flash with something like challenge and Chris realizes he really _is_ begging for it, in more ways than one.

“Wow...Darren, we’re...” Chris shakes himself back to his senses and touches the cuff, still on his wrist, sees that Darren is eyeing it too. He’s thinking too much, doesn’t like it, and whatever the mood was a minute ago it’s shifted now. Darren knows it, and drops his head. Chris reaches down, pets him, rubs his hand over Darren’s soft hair, down to drag along his ear and jaw. Darren turns, murmuring softly in Chris’s palm, presses his lips lightly into the very center.

“See...that’s why we have boundaries. And that’s why _you’re_ supposed to be quiet,” Chris says, his voice steady and even now. Darren nods gently, not disturbing his head from where it still rests in Chris’s hand, finally looking up at him through heavy eyelashes.

“I’m sorry,” he mouths, and Chris knows he means it. He’s too earnest not to. Chris nods, stroking along his jaw again and when his thumb passes over Darren’s mouth this time, he nips it lightly, sucks the very tip between his lips.

Chris watches him for a minute, lets his mind come back to him, then pulls his hand away gently, reaching for the heavy belt he’d lain nearby earlier, but hadn’t used. He drags it over Darren’s leg and up along his hip, flexing the leather in his hand. Darren prefers this one because it’s soft and wide, says it doesn’t sting so much as snap, and Chris likes the broad, even marks it lays on Darren’s ass. He eases Darren back down onto his stomach over the pillow, pushes up onto his knees alongside him and whispers, “I’ll think about what you said. I promise.”

\--

Chris spends the better part of three days thinking and pretending not to see the looks Darren gives him and overthinking and making himself crazy. Then he calls Mia. She laughs.

“Yeah he’s a pushy fucker. That’s why he needs us to push him back.”

“But I think...I think he’s probably right about this, and I was trying to create some...division. Between what you can do and what I can do. I guess?” Chris cradles his phone to his shoulder on the hotel bed, fidgets with the edge of his iPad with one hand and his jeans pocket with the other.

“Oh honey there’s a division. Don’t worry about that,” she snickers a wicked little laugh and Chris thinks he can hear the soft sound of a cigarette at her lips.

“But maybe that was just fucked up that I thought I could compartmentalize him like that.”

“So then fuck him!” She breathes out, and he can picture the smoke, the way it curls around her and Darren when they kiss, sharing it until Darren has to flick it in the gutter because there are fans coming close.

“But then I’m just letting him get what he wants!”

“He _always_ gets what he wants. Haven’t you figured that out yet? All we can do is...keep him from getting it all at once.”

\--

“So you’re going to sit right here, in front of me,” Chris says, motioning to the vanity bench he has turned longways so that he straddles it, facing the mirror. Darren cocks his head curiously but doesn’t question, moves purposefully and unselfconsciously to sit as Chris has instructed, his back to Chris’s chest. He sits up straight, meets Chris’s eyes in the mirror, and waits.

“You can lean on me if you need to,” Chris explains quietly as he starts, tracing his fingers over Darren’s shoulders and down his arms, watching in the mirror as he takes Darren’s forearms and pulls them back behind him fast, catching Darren’s breath and thrusting his shoulders out. Chris smiles, laces the long scarf he’s become expert at tying this way around and between Darren’s wrists, making the knot secure but easy for him to release if he needs to free him quickly. He pulls at the knot and tucks Darren’s hands close between them, snug somewhere between Chris’s midriff and the top of his crotch. He feels Darren’s fingers wriggle against the heavy fabric between them, looks him in the eye in the mirror, and shakes his head. “No, not yet.”

Chris moves his hands, dragging them sweetly up Darren’s biceps and shoulders, the muscles all drawn tight, attentive. He pushes and fans his hands out over Darren’s chest, feels his pectorals rise with Darren’s breath, then slides them up over Darren’s neck to his face, watching his eyes the whole time. “You’re really...you’re very pretty. I am just going to take some time, and look...and play. You’re going to be sitting here for a while, and I want you to be still, and quiet. Do you need to be gagged?” Chris asks, purposely taunting him with fingertips dragged across his lips. Darren grabs for them, flicks his tongue around Chris’s fingers and pulls as much as he can into his mouth, sucking until his cheeks hollow and begging Chris with plaintive eyes in the mirror. Chris lifts his chin and smiles, thrusts one finger deeper into Darren’s mouth and drags it out along the inside of his cheek, watches his jaw fall open and just hang there, saliva spilling over his lip and Darren is already trembling, pleading with Chris with his eyes.

“Ok...you definitely need this,” Chris answers, taking the other scarf they employ and feeding it between Darren’s teeth, pulling it the right tightness so his lips can close naturally around it. Darren’s head drops with relief and his spine curves in, sagging back against Chris’s chest as Chris finishes the knot.

“Not yet, not yet...let’s sit you up a little more for now, ok?” Chris is gentle, pushing Darren’s spine back into an upright posture and settling his hands at his hips. “Good. Much, much better. I’m going to touch you now...I’m going to touch you anywhere I want, anywhere I can see in this mirror, and you’re going to watch. Your fingers are free, so if you want to stop, just pinch me. Nod if you understand.”

Darren inhales, slow, long and deep, and nods once, then settles. Chris can feel his weight actually sink into his bones, his hips, feel Darren let go of everything, his eyes soft and calm on the reflection in the mirror. Chris smiles at him encouragingly, wraps his arms around his hips, and pulls his thighs open so he can get a better look.

\--

Darren is shaking all over from the exertion of not coming, sweaty and wrecked and it looks so, so good on him. Chris knows he’s torturing him now, made him get up and shuffle to the bed, wrists still bound, dick hard and leaking from being touched and groped and toyed with for almost an hour, put the blindfold on him before he undressed himself because he’s cruel and he knows it’s necessary-- _not everything, not all at once_ , he remembers.

They are very much naked together though, whether Darren can see it or not, and this is a new feeling for Chris. They’re on different ground now, and though he has taken them there willingly and thoughtfully, he has to keep control. Chris lets go of Darren’s dick and grabs hold of his balls, not so hard to hurt him but just pulling them away from his body and making Darren thrash even more. He touches Darren’s face with his other hand, the silk scarf in his mouth soaked through with saliva from moaning and whimpering.

“Hey...Darren. I’m going to take this off. Is that ok? Nod once if it’s ok for me to take the gag out.” Darren stills himself, nods once very precisely, and stays very still as Chris reaches behind him to unslip the knotted ends of the scarf, massaging along Darren’s jaw, his lips, his fucking _teeth_ as he peels the wet fabric away. “You can talk now. Talk all you want. Make it good,” Chris admonishes as he sets the scarf aside and climbs astride Darren’s hips, settling onto his thighs as Darren starts to gasp out words.

“Oh my god...can I please see? No wait I don’t want to...wait yes I do,” Darren gushes all at once, predictably overwhelmed by the feel of everything as Chris settles on top of him and he realizes he’s feeling Chris’s hard dick alongside his own. Chris rolls his eyes and reaches up to pinch Darren’s left nipple between two fingers, hard, twisting and digging his thumbnail in just a bit to make sure he gets his point across. Darren yowls and snaps right back to attention.

“I said talk, not babble. I want you to talk us through this. You can’t touch, but I’ll do that, don’t worry. Just...get some of that begging out of your system. I’ll tell you when to come. Do you understand?” Chris instructs, Darren nodding furiously as Chris wraps his hand around both of their cocks and starts jacking them off together.

Darren’s dick has been so wet from precome for so long, there’s plenty to slick up both of them until Chris’s starts to glisten on its own. Chris tightens the fingers of his other hand in a circle at the base of Darren’s cock, squeezing him off like a cock ring and lifting to line them both up, the head of Chris’s cock catching and pulling along Darren’s foreskin as he shifts his hips back and forth. Chris pulls at it gently, rubs along the inside of the extra flesh there, slides back until the head of his own cock just barely slips inside the delicate skin. Darren loses it.

“Yes. Yes, oh god. I can feel...fuck Chris I can feel everything. Your cock feels so good, I can’t believe you’re giving me...I don’t deserve it. Oh god I wish I could see it. See it and touch it and I’d lick you all over, you’re so fucking beautiful and you take such good care of me. I’d suck you, take such good care of you, just tell me what to do to earn it, please please oh god just to touch it, it feels so fucking perfect and I want it. I’d be your slut, do anything for you, fuck my mouth, oh god just come all over my face and make me, god, fuck, anything you want...”

Darren’s pulling at his restraints now, and Chris knew this would be good but Darren is _gone_ and desperate and it’s beautiful. Chris keeps working his hand over both of them, considering actually turning around the other way so he can properly slip his dick straight on inside his foreskin and jerk them off that way, but something about the position seems...too vulnerable, unseemly, maybe. He slides his thumb along their cocks, lets it pull again and slip inside and the sudden urge he has to taste it, taste him there, slip his tongue inside that goddamn piece of skin and see what it does to Darren, is the very _definition_ of unseemly.

Chris licks his lips and talks, leaning over and forward to put more pressure on them both, pressing their dicks between their stomachs. Darren grunts and gasps for air when Chris’s dick presses against his skin, and Chris plays that, rubs his cockhead against Darren’s belly while palming Darren’s with his other hand, fingertips over the head so he can grasp and drag his foreskin up and down between all the skin and friction. “Darren...tell me how this feels. Tell me how it feels when...when she licks it, when she sucks on this...tell me how to touch it.”

“Oh god oh god, just, just like that, is good. Just soft, the inside is...she slips her tongue inside, and she keeps it, like that, like it’s between and on my dick and she...it’s so much more sensitive Chris you can’t even...Chris fuck I need to come, I need it, fuck fuck let me suck you off, let me oh god, I’ll show you how good, just let me and let me come and I’ll do anything, fuck...”

“Shhhhh, shhhhh, you’re ok. You’re doing so well. We’ll come soon, you’ve been very good. You will come when I order you to. Yes?” Chris twists his hand down around their bases and swirls his other fingers around Darren’s head some more, both their leaking precome dripping down his hand and he wants to taste that too, _fuck_.

“Yes yes yes oh god, please, yes, you’re so good, oh god I just want to get you off, just let me try and be good for you, please, oh I wanna see you come so bad Chris, all I want, all over me, just, god...”

“Not this time, shhhh, ok. Very, very good Darren. You are going to come when I come, ok? Just feel how I’m moving, and feel my hand, and feel how hot our cocks are together...yeah?” Chris leads him, his words getting breathy as he moves his hand faster, feels the pressure of his orgasm welling up.

“Yeah, oh god, fuck, Chris, I can’t...” Darren whines and maybe even tries to thrust up to get more than he’s being given, but Chris’s weight and the ride of his thighs holds him flat and firm and he may have to be punished for that later.

“Yes you can. Hold on for me. Hold on for me and maybe I’ll let you watch next time...hold on...hold...” Chris’s fist jerks wildly around them both and he’s there, he’s just there, and he opens his eyes to watch, greedily, reaching to pinch Darren hard on the inside of his thigh just as he commands, “Come. Come now.”

Darren shudders and cries out as Chris loosens his grip and slicks over both their heads and they finally get there, coming hard and pulsing, pressed tight up against Darren’s stomach. Chris forces his eyes to stay open so he can watch, both their dicks pumping hot and white into a mingled mess that flows down Darren’s abdomen. Chris collapses, sated and weak, rolls off Darren and lets himself rest his cheek just a moment on his bent arm beside Darren’s hip. He brings his other hand up and draws absentminded patterns in their combined come, smiling to himself.

He lets them both come down, then fights his own laziness off to take care of his responsibilities. He first unties Darren’s wrists from where they are bound over his head, massaging his cramped hands and tendons again as he lays them softly at Darren’s sides. Darren is very, very quiet. Chris quirks his head to take one more look at him like this, privately, greedily, then pulls on his boxers from nearby before sitting gently beside him to remove the blindfold.

“I’m taking this off. Do not move yet. I will come back to take care of you, but I want you to lie perfectly still, alright?” Darren nods, and Chris lifts it away, meeting his eyes gently, lovingly, only once, before turning away to get some washcloths, leaving Darren to stare at his own naked body, streaked and swirled with both their orgasms.

\--

“So, did you mean all that stuff? The things you begged for...just in the moment dirty talk?”

“Uhh...no, no I pretty much always mean what I say. In the moment. I mean it _more_ then, if anything. You know I have no filter, come on,” Darren scoffs, nudging Chris in the ribs and rolling over to take a sip of water. He grimaces when he puts weight on his arm and Chris knows his muscles must be spasming, rolls him back down and takes one arm at a time in his strong hands to work out all the knots and kinks.

“So you do want to do all of those things,” Chris rephrases, arching one eyebrow and looking at Darren plainly.

“I want to do all kinds of things. I don’t really have a lot of need for, uh, _boundaries_ as I know you’re so fond of discussing with my lovely lady.”

“There’s a good reason for that. To me there is anyway...at least there was. Look, there’s a difference between...what we’re doing, and just fucking around. Does that make sense?”

“What do you think the difference is? And why can’t both be...I mean why not both?”

“Because both is what you have with Mia.”

“And? What’s the difference, again?”

“I don’t know...intention? Intimacy?”

“Is _that_ where you think your boundary is? Come on, Chris, that sounds like some bullshit I would say. Sucking your dick would just be...sucking your dick. What we have...before you ever invited me into your room and told me to take my shoes off, whether our dicks ever touched or not. We have intimacy. I never would have come to you without it.”

\--

Darren’s only regard for boundaries is to push them, which now that he’s clearer about where they lay, he does even more. It isn’t actually a hard limit, or Chris _wouldn’t_ allow it, but Darren is persistent in his desire to demonstrate, to articulate to Chris that he needs it. Chris understands that feeling, though Darren’s desperation and later enthusiasm for it still give him a bit of a surprise, even though it’s clear by now that Darren’s sexuality is...whatever.

They don’t have toys or anything on tour--too risky if luggage gets lost or opened at an airport--and even if he had one with him Chris can’t use a ball gag on Darren because they’re too hard on the throat. So Chris rewards him after a copious amount more begging, which Darren is just so good at and Chris is not embarrassed to admit he enjoys. They wind up on the floor in Toronto, of all places, Darren’s arms wrapped and bound behind his back with a bolster pillow between his shoulder blades so his shoulders don’t separate, and a new item, a jingle bell liberated from some percussion instrument clutched tight in the palm of his right hand.

Chris holds him hard by the back of his neck and fucks in and out of his throat in long, deep strokes, reaching down occasionally to check, and the harder he fucks and feels like he’s gagging him the harder Darren’s dick gets, the more he leaks all over the place. It’s good and it’s so hot and Darren is the most compliant, loose, and closest thing to actually _submissive_ that Chris has yet to achieve from him. He’s so, so good today, and Chris feels indulgent, giving him one simple verbal warning, “Stay very still...” before he slides his thumb around Darren’s throat and over his cricoid, lightly compressing his windpipe with his hand. He can’t see Darren’s eyes but he can feel it when he realizes it.

Darren had asked for breath control during one of their check-ins, and Chris had immediately said no--why was he so into so many things that might damage his throat and his livelihood?

Chris watches him carefully, watches his face go slack and dreamy as he slips a little further under, almost wishes he could take Darren’s blindfold off and _see_ him go, but that wouldn’t be consensual right now. So he just watches, slides his cock in Darren’s throat one more time as he holds his head but lets go of his neck, leans over him and whispers just one word in his ear, “ _come_ ,” and feels Darren seize up, shudder once from his bound shoulders to the tips of his toes, and come all over himself.

Chris is achingly hard himself and absolutely going to get off this time, starts to finish himself with his hand when Darren asks again, very politely and properly, if he can watch.

“I like that...you’re doing that. Because of me. Please.”

Chris looks him over and considers, slows his hand on his dick and reluctantly breathes out _ok_. He reaches down, slips the silk off Darren’s eyes and gives him a moment to focus, then holds his gaze as he twists his wrist around the head of his dick, and comes on Darren’s chest. Darren likes that too, gasping and grinning with delight and looking absolutely giddy as Chris rubs the last little bit of come on his nipples. “You have a gorgeous cock,” Darren can’t help but rasp out. Chris kind of wants to slap him with it.

He smirks and shakes his head, mutters _shut up_ , as he unties him, physically uncurls his clenched fingers from around the bell, and helps him to the tub where he bathes and massages him with eucalyptus bath salt and shower gel. Only then does Chris finally take off his cuff, setting it on the bathroom counter. He takes a quick shower while Darren towels off, and they get into the soft bed, piled with pillows.

They talk about it, about how it felt different, and how it made Darren surrender and made Chris feel powerful. Darren tells him again that he has an awesome cock, and Chris blushes and rolls his eyes. Chris thanks him for trusting him so much to ask for what he really needs, then leans over and kisses him, softly. Darren moans softly with surprise, tries to say something but his voice is raspy. Chris tells him _shhhh, it’s ok_ and kisses him again. Darren stays quiet, but he’s clingier than usual, only letting Chris go to get the door when room service brings them a tray of hot tea with lots of honey, then pulling him back to bed and claiming his favorite reward, cuddling, for the rest of the night and morning. His voice is fine by showtime.

\--

It’s too fucking hot in New York and too cold inside the arena, and they’re all a mess but they’re _so close_ to being done, to going to Europe and then getting on with whatever is next. Mia is there, but Chris only sees them for a second, breezes past them in a sidestage corridor on his way to shoot a talking head or whatever other damn thing they want from him for the movie.

Darren is in his Warblers’ blazer and Mia, a skirt and cardigan, her arm tucked primly through his-- _like America’s fucking sweethearts, seriously_ \--as he walks her back toward the house. She catches Chris’s hand, delight on her face and he lets her pull him in close, wraps his arms around her. Darren runs his hand up Chris’s arm, over his shoulder and down onto Mia’s, just holds them there, Mia fitting just under Chris’s nose. Her hair smells like almonds.

Chris reluctantly draws away, kisses her fingertips as she pleads with her big eyes and smile, “Soon?! You promise?!” Chris grins and lets her hand go, Darren’s eyes sparkling over her shoulder. “Soon! I gotta go!” He can still hear her laugh lilting down the hallway as he rounds the corner, leaving them to their moment.

\--

Chris...might have a guy. He’s out with the gays and Ashley, it’s late, he has had a couple of Palomas and two (three?) shots of Patron, and there’s kind of this guy. He’s a friend of one of the dancers and he’s giving Chris some vibe or another, and maybe Chris is going to try to take this guy to his hotel. He’s cute in a crunchy vanilla, prep school hippie kind of way, and a little sassy, and has a great body, and wow that is totally someone else grinding against his ass right now.

Chris laughs and throws his head back, looks over at Ashley and their friends who are basically the only ones doing actual dancing on the packed floor right now. One more drink, he thinks, and extricates himself to the bar, thinking maybe he’ll pick up (Matt? Max? shit.) on the way and see what there might be to...see.

He’s pushing between a bunch of bodies to get to the bartender when he just barely notices the slight tickle of his phone buzzing where it’s jammed near his groin. He manages to claw it out of his pocket with one hand while motioning for one more shot with the other, and sees two texts. One from Darren, one from Mia, same four words: _you should come over!_ He’s a little fuzzy from the drinks and was honestly trying to think of, well, other people for a while, and wasn’t expecting _that_...like, at all. He rears his head back a bit from his phone, trying to refocus the words, squints. Nope, still the same. _Right_.

He licks his lips, downs the shot, kisses Ash goodbye (she knows better than to _ever_ ask), gets _Max’s_ number (and he’s a fucking _Newsie_? He _definitely_ would have left with him, damn it) on his way out, and catches a cab.

\--

Darren is leaning out the French doors opening over his street, swinging a giant glass of red wine and singing _Volare_ at the top of his lungs (his _poor neighbors_ , Chris thinks) when Chris gets out. At the sound of the cab door closing Mia shrieks beside him, drops her cigarette and races downstairs, barefoot, in a long black top that isn’t quite a dress, and some kind of lacy black underwear that isn’t quite shorts. She brings him upstairs slowly, stroking his arm and purring in his ear about having more wine, but not letting Darren get too drunk, until they reach the landing, Darren’s doorway, Darren.

Darren holds out his glass and Chris takes it without question, takes a good, full sip and just swirls it in his mouth. He watches Darren’s eyes, sees the second he notices Chris is wearing the wristband, because he looks down, bashful all of a sudden, fidgets at the door jamb with his toe. It’s a bit of deja vu, and Chris steps closer, casting a look at Mia to make sure...she’s looking between them, expectantly, and Chris knows that look. Yes, obviously, they are on the same page. They’re the ones writing it.

Chris lifts the hand he wears the leather on, just touches Darren under his chin, moves his finger in a tiny motion along his jaw. Darren obediently lifts his head, looks first at Mia, mouthing, _I love you_ , before meeting Chris’s gaze and holding it steady.

“Hi.” Darren reaches out to take his glass back, tilting his head curiously at Chris but not looking away. His fingertips boldly graze the leather on Chris’s wrist.

“Hi.” Chris passes the glass, watches Darren’s lips pull the wine into his mouth. Chris swallows when Darren does, a reflex, and waits.

“Welcome to my not so humble home. It’s fucking fabulous...come inside, let’s drink and make out for my girlfriend’s amusement...” Darren bats his eyelashes and Mia fakes looking shocked as she grabs Chris’s hand again and gives him a knowing look. Chris curls one side of his mouth up as he laughs, nods, kisses her hair, and follows Darren’s sashaying ass through the door.

\--

“Wait, so you withheld kissing? That’s crazy!” Mia swivels in her comfy armchair, swirling the wine glass she’s lifted from Darren and taking one last sip. “But you love kissing each other.”

“No that’s exactly why though! We just don’t kiss when we...do that. Because that way kissing is still...just for us? Regular us. I just didn’t want it to be something to be negotiated for. I mean I still kiss him...I kiss him plenty. You know how he is,” Chris smiles knowingly at Mia, drops his hand from stroking and lightly pulling Darren’s hair to rest at the small of his back. Darren turns on his elbow a bit, lifts his face up to Chris, a little twisty smirk on his mouth.

“And how am I, exactly?” he challenges, straining up against gravity to press a kiss to the underside of Chris’s jaw. He tries to sit up a little and reaches toward Mia to get the wine glass back, but she just shakes her head, _no_ , and he lays back against Chris’s chest.

“You,” Chris starts, reaching down to lift Darren’s face again by the chin, stubble scruffy against his fingers, “are very, very good.” Chris tilts to meet his mouth properly and covers Darren’s lips with a soft, searching kiss. Darren opens for him easily, jaw slackening and muscles going loose.

He sinks into the kiss, letting Chris take him hard by the arm and hold him where he wants him, Mia’s voice suddenly closer, murmuring beside them, “my _god_ you’re fucking pretty,” and moving to twist her fingers into Darren’s hair as Chris sucks at his lips. Chris pulls back for one second and Mia replaces his mouth, kisses Darren more gently and softly than Chris would have expected, tracing the lines of his lips with her tongue, pulling away and following the path with her fingertip as she smiles sideways at Chris. Darren nips and purses his lips until he manages to get her finger between them, sucks gently.

Chris groans. “Fuck...I’ve had a lot to drink, honestly.” He’s never regretted tequila so much in his life as right now, but he’s definitely...just a little less lucid than he requires of himself to play, even with someone as safe as them.

Mia looks down at him, at them, an easy, comforting smile, reaches out to touch Chris lightly on the wrist, tickling the thin skin along the edge of the wristband with her fingernails. “ _You_ are very, very good. And you don’t have to worry. I’m in charge...you’re just getting _your_ reward, how’s that?” She lifts her eyebrows, glances down at Darren in his lap looking so willing and waiting for something and Chris just has to kiss him again. He pulls at his neck a little and Darren meets him there, Chris running his tongue everywhere inside Darren’s mouth, tasting his gasps as Mia keeps talking, touching them.

“Darren told me...well he really liked it. Sucking you...didn’t you, baby?” She pauses and Chris watches her move her hand from Darren’s hair, stroke down the shell of his ear, rubbing it over and over between her fingertips. It’s possessive and hot and Chris feels his heartbeat speed up, feels his pulse jump at the way Darren absolutely acquiesces to her touch. Darren nods, his lips still lazily dragging against Chris’s jaw and cheek

Mia catches that Chris was lost for a moment, goes on with a wink when she sees she’s got him back. “I don’t exactly have that for him. And I’ve never seen him do it...not a real cock anyway...” Darren’s breath stutters and hitches as she says it and Chris lets go of his mouth, breathing faster and feeling himself harden on the spot.

“God... _yes_...you’re in charge, I just sit here and Darren goes down on me? That sounds _awful_ , Mia,” Chris rasps out a sarcastic laugh and leans his head back against the couch to cool down a bit as Darren shifts around in his lap, pulling his knees up to fit his whole body under Chris’s arm, nuzzling into him, Mia curling around his other side, petting him all over.

“Darren? You with us?” She coos at him calmly, Darren nodding and _mm hmm mm hmm_ ing emphatically. Chris wonders how much he has had to drink, but then Mia goes on. “You told me you wanted something, something you didn’t get to have before. Do you still want that? Do you want to tell Chris?”

Darren sits up straight, nods again and leans into Mia, asking for a kiss, sighing happily when she takes his face in her hand and kisses him again. He nods against her lips and speaks, clearly but again, a little bashful again and that is what is killing Chris. “I wanted...I need, maybe...something in my ass. While I have your cock...I’d really like that.”

Chris just crumples, grabs him up and cradles him and kisses him, growling against his mouth, _fucking hell, Darren, you never said...anything, anything_...until Darren whimpers, rolls his shoulders back and leans against Mia for support, staring right through some imaginary spot on Chris’s chest as he goes on.

“It was...like you said...some boundary. I guess it was arbitrary. But we needed it...right? I needed it, anyway.”

\--

“I like these cuffs...this is so much better, isn’t it sweetie? You look so good, so pretty with this nice leather on you. I like you like this...I like how you get. I like what Mia does to you.” Chris purrs into Darren’s ear, so happy with the pleased little noises Darren makes in response. Chris strokes him absentmindedly, looks over across the room where Mia is opening and closing dresser drawers. “What else does she have for you, hmmm? Come up here...”

Darren rolls up onto his knees, immediately, willingly, and lets Chris pull him up by his shoulders. Chris weaves his fingers into the thick curls at the nape of Darren’s neck and just smothers his mouth again, loving having him so compliant, so supple right now. Mia slides a drawer shut and Chris opens his eyes to see her smiling at the foot of the bed, watching.

“We don’t even...he just has a few silly little things he likes here. The real stuff is at my place. You’ll have to come over sometime.” She raises her eyebrows at Chris and he smiles into Darren’s mouth, pulls back and licks and runs his hands down Darren’s arms to tuck his fingertips under the soft lambswool of the restraints, tug at them.

“Would you like that?” Chris asks, petting down his arms and chest and yanking at the leather cuffs again until Darren whimpers and settles back into place down on his knees with his head lowered, He nods, soft and silent, and he just looks so _sweet_ , Chris thinks. Then he sees what Mia has in her hands, and he feels the moment tilt, and shift.

Mia keeps Darren on his knees in front of Chris. He’s composed and still and _so_ good until she starts teasing him, dragging her fingertips up and down between the cheeks of his ass, talking dirtier and dirtier until Darren starts to squirm. Chris sees his ass twitch up and his back sway as she reaches between his legs, cupping his balls and smiling, and Chris sees the other hand holding the butt plug, already glistening with lube, his own dick throbbing at the very idea that he’s about to see Darren take that thing.

Darren drops his face into Chris’s lap, mumbling nonsense sounds into his thigh and mouthing at his jeans, the fabric warm then cool against Chris’s skin with the wetness he leaves. Chris sees him tense once, then go lax, some of the tension in his muscles seeping out as she starts to push the tip of the toy inside him. Darren gasps and flips his head to the side, lays his cheek to Chris’s thigh and looks up at him, pleading eyes and he’s so fucking beautiful. “ _Shhhh_...you have to wait. You’re being so perfect, so perfect. You have to wait until Mia says you can have it though.”

Darren sighs and shudders against his leg and Chris brings his hand to Darren’s head, lets Darren rub his cheek against the soft leather still circling Chris’s wrist, just an accessory but still having an effect on Darren. Chris smiles in approval, pushes the tip of his thumb into Darren’s mouth. He takes it and sucks around it, squealing a tiny bit as Mia pushes the toy a little further in him, pressing on his lower back so he lifts his ass even higher for her.

“Gooood, oh, baby doing so good, look at your pretty little ass taking this...you want Chris’s cock in your mouth? I know you do, you want that pretty cock in your slutty mouth? Why don’t you ask him nicely if you can have it...” Mia coos at him, free hand roaming and tickling and slapping all over his ass and thighs as she works the toy in bit by bit and Chris is hard now, really hard and it almost hurts.

Again he touches and lifts Darren’s chin to get his attention, Darren’s eyes skittering to meet his and he tries, fumbles, tries again to get the words out and Chris just breathes, waits, brings his other hand down to his jeans to start working on the button and zipper. Darren’s jaw drops, slack and waiting, and Chris watches Mia, watches her eyes look up from Darren’s ass and then narrow as she sees Chris. He blushes and she smirks, looks back down to where Darren is stretching, waiting, patient.

Mia shifts and braces her weight, places her hand flat across the base of the plug and gives one final push, shaking her hair back and breathing out a satisfied, _oh yeaahhhhhhh_ as it slips in past the widest part and Darren cries out, starts to babble. “Oh god, shit, _Mia_ , Mia I love you. Chris... _fuck_...can I have it, please let me have your cock, please...”

His words trail off, raspy whimpers the only thing coming from his throat now, and Mia smiles and nods, keeps one hand on his ass and places the other at the base of his skull, nudging him forward encouragingly. Chris wraps his hand over hers, his long fingers overlapping hers and scrunching up tight in Darren’s curls. Darren meets Chris’s eyes, gasps out one last _please_ , and Chris is so, so happy to be able to give this to him, this _yes_.

Mia looks up along the line of Darren’s spine, laying a few kisses at the dimples just above his ass and giving Chris a wicked grin. She twists and pushes on the toy inside him steadily, rhythmically, making Darren hum, a low whine deep in his chest. Chris brings his fingers to Darren’s jaw, pressing down on his lower teeth and _finally_ pushes the slick, swollen head of his dick onto Darren’s waiting tongue.

\--

Chris’s instinct is to thrust and he barely holds himself back from doing so as he feels Darren’s mouth warm and wet around him. He wants more and he wants it all at once too, his hand still gripping at the back of Darren’s head and he just wants to pull him down, fuck his throat until they’re both choking. He feels Mia’s hand clench underneath his, tangles his fingers with hers as he remembers, and releases, her nails stroking his skin as she takes control back. “Let go...yeah, there you go...”

He grazes his hands one last time over Darren’s neck and shoulders, touches the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallows around Chris, feels the tautness in his arm muscles where the cuffs pull and hold them behind his back. Darren’s working his lips further down now with Mia’s urging and Chris groans, trying not to be selfish but it’s hard when Darren has him down to the back of his throat, flicking his tongue along the underside in that way Chris can feel in every nerve in his body. Chris lavishes a last bit of touching and appreciating and Mia catches his eye for one quick look that they both understand, then rests back on his elbows and lets Mia have him.

Mia pushes with everything she has against Darren’s ass, hands and hips fucking him with the toy and maybe rubbing herself off a little, pushing his head to fuck his mouth down, fast and hot and wet over Chris, so good he can feel his dick jump in the back of Darren’s mouth and all Chris can do is throw his head back and curse, because _holy fucking shit_. “Oh, baby, you look so happy now, look at you...you’ve wanted this for so long haven’t you? You’re all ours now, down on your knees for us...you just want to get fucked don’t you, baby?”Darren chokes and groans because that’s all _he_ can do, and Mia keeps pushing.

With some serious struggle, Chris manages to lift his head enough to watch Darren’s mouth working around him, trying to take him all every time Mia pulls and pushes and his throat opens for him. Chris feels the constriction throbbing around him when his cock slips through, feels Darren’s hum on the soft, sensitive head that slips back against his palate, vibrations and pleasure traveling through them both when he succeeds, spit running down his chin, his eyelashes sparkling with wetness from the exertion.

Mia turns her wrist another bit and shifts Darren’s thighs and hips, clearly looking for the right spot, and Chris sees when she hits it, sees Darren’s eyes roll back in his head behind his closed lids, feels him gag and choke a little and swallow through it, sucking Chris even harder. Chris tilts his own hips up and forward a little to help Darren get more, just more, and it helps, helps him slide back in better than before and now Chris can’t really help it, he has to thrust, just light, shallow jolts forward from his pelvis that he tries to match with Mia’s rhythm and finally, _finally_ they all fall into place and it’s just _fucking_ and it’s perfect.

“Oh my fucking god this is like...a thousand times hotter than I even imagined,” Mia exclaims, joyfully nuzzling against Darren’s ass and sinking her teeth into one side, kissing and murmuring over the bite. “You look so good, baby, so good sucking him...isn’t he good, Chris?” She rubs both hands down Darren’s back as she praises him, Darren shivering happily at her touch. Chris pumps his hips up again and groans uselessly at Mia’s query, the only answer he’s capable of expressing right now.

She laughs lightly, takes Darren’s bound hands in her hands and just squeezes, massages them a moment, and Chris sees her slip her hand underneath him, rub along his balls and cock again, finally wrapping her hand around him. Darren seems to almost collapse in relief, speeding up the movement of his mouth on Chris. Chris gives in and reaches down, gripping himself around the base of his own cock to hold it out further, give Darren a little better angle to work, and try to slow down what he suddenly feels is coming way too fast. He drags his fingers along the edges of Darren’s lips, Darren finally peeling his eyes open and looking up at Chris as if coming out of a daze. Chris can’t help but smile down at him, pet him and tell him, _yes_ , he’s good.

“I...oh god, Darren...you’re so...yeah, it’s really fucking good...fuck I could come, like, any time,” Chris finally grits out, shakily trying to keep it together and looking to Mia for guidance as Darren slides his mouth all the way out and sucks at just the head, licking around and cleaning up some of the mess of spit and precome he’s made.

Everything feels loose and chaotic and Chris isn’t exactly sure what’s going to happen when he comes. Darren’s never swallowed before but he doesn’t seem to be anxious about it, isn’t pulling away, and Mia is jerking Darren off now, his hips just kind of fucking wildly and Chris has the sudden urge to change positions, somehow get his hand on that toy in Darren’s ass and give it a tug himself. Just the thought pushes him closer and he snaps his head up, “Where?” all he can manage but Mia is quick to give Darren a once over and pull him back to sitting on his heels.

“Right on his pretty face, I think. Don’t you think, baby? I think that would look awfully nice on you,” Mia keeps going and Chris can see it in Darren’s eyes, _yes_. Darren is controlled, quiet, _perfect_ right now, his mouth open and swollen and dripping and Chris knows this is going to be over in a flash but he wishes he could stay in this moment of just about to come onto Darren’s shining lower lip forever. He rubs his hand all the way down his shaft just once and squeezes around the head how he likes, Darren’s lip trembling and the end of his tongue just barely snaking out to lap at the tip of Chris’s cock as he starts to come.

He’s only faintly aware of Mia’s voice, of the sounds Darren is making when it finally hits him, taking some of it on his tongue but mostly on his cheek, his jaw, down his neck. Chris watches, but it’s like watching from outside his body, his orgasm making everything shimmer with strangeness. It’s over too fast.

The softness of Darren’s lips gently kissing the head of his dick as he slides back down the crest brings him back to some sort of presence, of being there, and Chris can barely even see straight but Darren is beautiful and he _let him do that_ and Chris knows he wants to help make this good for him, that he can take part of that and have it, share it with Mia. He basks in the surreal, serene feeling just a few moments more, Mia’s voice and Darren’s whimpers slowly returning to full volume in his ears. She is telling him not to come just yet, that he should be waiting for Chris to be ready, and Chris kind of loves them both.

He shakes his head clear and slides down off the mattress to the floor, sinking low on his knees to match Darren’s height and posture. Darren finally looks up to meet his eyes, Mia’s hand still curled loosely around his dick but not moving, not letting him come, and Chris smiles. He reaches up and touches his fingertips in his come, dragging just a little down and making Darren take just the tiniest bit off of one finger, making sure the leather brushes against his cheek before he leans in and kisses him. His own come is on his lips and he licks, pulls back, swipes a bit away with his hand, and kisses him again, warm and muzzy and weird, Mia making a happy, humming sound behind them.

Chris looks up and manages to actually focus, and gestures with his shoulder toward where she is positioned. “Switch, Mia?”

She kisses him on the temple as they start to move, but Chris looks at Darren’s shaking thighs and worries suddenly that they’ve had him in this position too long. Mia seems to read his mind. “Hey, Darren...baby, we’re going to move you, ok? It’s going to hurt to get up but I want you to stand, and we’re going to help get you on the bed. It’s going to be so much nicer for you, and you’ve been very, very good.”

Darren winces when the pressure is off his knees, blood and fluid circulating where it’s been cut off painfully for so long, but he’s clearly been in no state to notice the numbness until now. Chris sits back across the bed and isn’t sure what Mia wants him to do. He just knows he wants to touch, touch him everywhere, and he feels like he hasn’t gotten to _touch_ him enough. There’s a soft, worn t-shirt Darren had removed earlier and folded neatly, of course, and Chris uses it to gently clean off most of the come that’s still on him, following after the fabric with kisses, because he feels like he can now.

Mia has him ease down onto his side, still cuffed and she’s not taking those off yet, but Chris arranges the pillows for him so his neck can be comfortable and his shoulder blades can relax, Mia kissing him all along the front of his chest and face. Chris has enough reach and room that he can massage Darren’s arms, all the way down his back, working down his ass to his thighs and calves to loosen the knots in his legs as Mia lays up close along his front, and finally takes his dick in her hand, up close against her body.

The sounds Darren is making are practically inhuman at this point, high and desperate and full of relief and he’s shaking so hard Chris thinks he might cry. He rubs all the way up the backs of his thighs until he reaches the plug, still lodged there but probably frustratingly motionless, and he knows he hates that feeling and he just can’t leave it that way.

“Darren, sweetie...you were so good to me, so, so good. I want to help you come, ok? I’m going to touch you...don’t be embarrassed, sweetie. We can talk about it later but I really, really want to do this for you.” Darren is trying to nod frantically and mumbling something like _yes please fuck Chris_ _more_ but his hand is already working between Darren’s cheeks, spreading his ass so he can get hold of it. He grasps and slips it out of Darren just a bit so he can trace one finger around the slickness under the flare, around the rim where Darren is so open and stretched, just circling and tickling with the lightest flutter of his fingertip.

He can feel Darren thrumming under his touch, feel the motion of Mia’s hand finally helping him get off, can hear every shake and rise in pitch in Darren’s cracking cries and knows when he hears Mia, louder and more forceful now, “Come on, come baby, you’re right there, oh yeah come for me...” Darren finally freezes, every muscle still, holding him frozen just on the edge and Chris pushes him over, his hand on the plug plunging it back in and hitting everything at once and Darren finally shudders and squeaks out some horrible, wonderful sound from deep in his body that Mia immediately kisses and swallows out of him.

They hold him tight as he curls in on himself and shivers through it, Chris leaning his head down at the small of his back and waiting for the hopefully perfect moment when Darren is distracted by an aftershock and by Mia’s mouth to slip the plug out of him, so quick he hopes he barely notices. Darren feels it and whines at the discomfort a second later but Chris is already there, soothing him with kisses over his back and down his ass, massaging, holding him close, and closed.

\--

“You’re kind of cute when you do vanilla.” Darren laughs and rolls onto his chest, tickling lazily up and down Chris’s arm in the darkness.

“Pfft,” Chris replies, rubbing Darren’s back and dropping a kiss to the top of his head. “I don’t do vanilla.”

“You gonna sleep with us?” Darren mumbles, turning halfway to curl up to Mia where she lays on her side, naked now because her clothes took most of the damage from Darren’s orgasm. Chris spoons up against Darren, squinting as his eyes adjust to the dark. He can just barely make out that Darren slips his hand down below the sheets.

“Should I?” Chris whispers, dropping his hand to lay gently at Darren’s hip, kissing Darren’s shoulder and feeling the tiny motion in his arm as Mia makes a soft noise.

Darren cranes his neck around, twisting from his waist but pointedly not moving his hand away from where it’s disappeared, and finds Chris’s chin, his mouth, in the dark. Chris leans up a little to meet him and make it easier, lets Darren’s tongue open his mouth, lets himself be kissed, and kisses. Mia gasps suddenly, the movement of her hips shifting the bed beneath them, and Darren hums, happy, whispers against Chris’s lips, just the faintest brush of touch and sound and breath, “Yes. You should.”

\--

Darren disappears the next day. A phone call and a car service driver to pick up his bag. Chris racks his brain trying to think if he’s forgotten to go somewhere himself, but no.

“Milan.” Mia answers, deadpan, as if that’s all the explanation anyone could reasonably expect. It pretty much is. “You’ll see him again _way_ before I do.”

They go out for breakfast and Mia drinks a lot of coffee. They talk about it and Chris thinks it should be a lot weirder than this, talking about this, eating poached eggs.

“I made you tell me three things you wanted to get out of it, when we decided to try this. Do you remember what they were?”

Chris pokes his fork into grilled polenta and sauteed mushrooms, wishing it was a huge pile of chocolate chip pancakes. “One. I wanted to learn about my own limits? Or like, the limits of my discipline, that was it. Right?”

“I don’t know, that sounds like something you’d say. What???” She yells as Chris kicks her under the table, not hard. She grabs her mimosa. “Oh, you thought I was paying _attention_ , I see. Ok yes, that was one. Go on.” She takes a big sip, winking at him over her champagne flute.

“What have I even gotten into with you people...” Chris stares at his Diet Coke, mocking him, waiting for her to set her glass down so he can steal it.

“Awesomeness.” She hands him her glass, and he sips, thinking.

“Two was. Um...something about Darren being gay--”

“--because Darren’s totally gay,” she cuts him off and Chris rolls his eyes, saying _duh_ into the glass as he finishes it and holds it out to the closest waiter, signalling with his other hand and his most angelic, doe-eyed _I’m really not a dickhead from LA who snaps at waiters and points at things I want_ , _I swear!_ facial expression for two more of them.

“Darren’s rampant gaiety aside I believe the philosophical approach was that I was helping provide him, um...wait what did you call it?” he trails off practically snorting with laughter and Mia cracks up way too hard and has to clap her hand over her mouth, shaking her head and then fanning her face when the waiter comes back.

“Oh thank fucking god. My boyfriend’s gay, I need a drink,” she giggles on, picking up her mimosa and the waiter definitely gives Chris a head tilt and once over, nodding subtly in approval as he moves on. “So what did I say? Oh yeah. Non-deterministic physical experiences! Well that one didn’t work cause he needs to suck cock so bad. Next.”

Chris almost chokes on the strawberry on the rim of his glass this time and they are definitely obnoxiously loud but he feels wild with himself and with Mia, and he’s getting a buzz, drinking in the sunshine. If he’s going to get thrown out of a restaurant it might as well be for this ridiculous conversation with this ridiculous woman. He takes a few more sips and squints into the sun through his sunglasses.

“Third one. Also failed in light of the second one. Which, I suppose taught me something about my own discipline. So I guess the first one wasn’t a total loss. Oh but he got me to do...breathing stuff--”

“He _did_?” Mia jumps in exclamation, kind of disbelieving and impressed and something else Chris can’t quite place because she’s wearing sunglasses. He nods, kind of ruefully.

“Yep. I said I wouldn’t and I did. He just...turned everything around on me.”

“Yeah,” Mia says thoughtfully, dipping her strawberry into her drink a few times before bringing it to her lips. “He’ll do that.”

\--

Darren’s a bit off, distant, when he sees him again in Manchester. Chris tries to ask him about Milan but he isn’t talking, just says his midwestern university party days and even years in Hollywood had not prepared him for such a life, and he wants to try to get some sleep. Chris leaves him be, takes advantage of the perception of anonymity he deludes himself with when he travels outside of America, goes to some gay clubs and talks to some normal guys, like a normal guy.

Then it’s the end, the actual end, and Chris is feeling a little unsure but then Darren kisses him in front of...well, Ireland, and he knows they’re ok. There’s drinking and revelry and all of their friends, a brief sleepless retreat to Chris’s room where he packs and Darren drinks and plays guitar. They hover on the verge of having a huge fight or fucking. They do neither, and say goodbye kind of manically at 6 am Greenwich mean time, kissing too frantically because they know it’s going to be a while, and they don’t know what to say. Chris leaves with Mark to catch a plane that takes him directly from this strange life into the next.

\--

It’s an odd sensation, Darren holding Chris down against the leather seat in the back of a car. Odd in how familiar, yet unfamiliar it is. There are dozens of people around and of course it’s supposed to be “hot” while not being _hot_ at all but it just is, it’s hot because they are hot and they do this, and Chris can’t help not caring what they see.

Standing around, waiting off camera, they don’t want to stop touching each other, and they have a perfect cover _not_ to, so they just...don’t. Chris leans over him, tall, possessive, keeping Darren close and stroking his face, kissing the side of his jaw. People see, but they don’t know what they’re seeing.

But Darren is holding _him_ down, pressing on _his_ wrists, and Chris feels it all, high and tight in his chest, feels what that would be like. It kind of pisses him off how much he likes it. Chris pinches inside Darren’s thigh where no one can see, and Darren fucking _bites_ him. “It’s in the script,” he breathes into Chris’s ear, fingers tight around his neck. There’s barely a minute of footage they can use.

\--

They’re quiet in the van going back to the lot. Darren’s fingers keep brushing against Chris’s on the seat and he pretends not to notice the first few times, then finally just curls his fingers around a couple of Darren’s and holds them. Darren turns to say something just as they pull through the gates, but stops himself. Chris pretends not to notice that, too. He looks at his phone and replies to a text instead.

“Are you going home?” is what Darren finally says once they get back and park. Chris crosses his messenger bag over his shoulder and chews on his lip.

“I’m actually gonna shower here and take the service. I have a red-eye, remember?”

“Oh, fuck. Yeah, I knew that I’m just...sorry. Go, have an amazing weekend.”

“Darren...did that get to you? Sorry if I made it too intense, just...it was intense where I was.”

“No, it’s fine, it didn’t get to me, I just...forgot you had a flight.”

“Ok...” Chris opens, sensing that there’s more coming.

“Are you going to have time to see Mia?” Darren asks and that’s not what Chris thought was coming.

He shakes his head, “No...no there’s not time. Like, I’ll barely be there and then back.”

“It’s just sometimes I feel like we should just. Go home together? Or. Something. I haven’t figured it out yet.” There, that’s what was coming. Chris looks at him and tries to think, think of why he would say no to that if he didn’t have to go. He doesn’t _want_ to say no.

“I know. Sometimes...” He shrugs his messenger bag and fidgets with the strap. “I feel like we should too.”

Darren drags his toe in the asphalt, then looks up. He doesn’t look sad, he looks resolved. “Well, maybe we should talk about that. Soon. At your house. So we can watch tv and make out on the couch in our pajamas.”

Chris laughs. “Wow. That’s...that’s really...those are all excellent ideas. And we should. Just...not tonight.”

Darren looks satisfied with this. “Ok. I’ll see you...” He leans up on his toes and Chris leans down and they kiss, bumping noses and Darren’s not quite tall enough like this, but it’s them, just them. “Um...tomorrow? No, fuck, see I told you, I don’t even know what day it is.”

Chris bows his head, kisses him one more time, dry and feather soft. “I’ll see you next week.”

Darren purses his lips, nods, resolved again, and turns to walk away. “Be safe,” he adds, over his shoulder, like an afterthought but Chris knows it wasn’t.

He watches Darren walk toward his car, says to himself, to no one in particular, “I will.”

\--

“You’re...different.” Mia says right off, tilting her head to the side and scrutinizing Chris up and down when he finally makes it to her doorway, late after a long day in the city with Ashley, who, again, knows better than to ask.

“Um...” Chris tilts his head to mirror hers and gives her a once over, too. “We’re all different, Mia. That’s what makes us special. Also I’m freezing...maybe that’s what you’re sensing?” He smiles his smartassiest smile because he knows she loves it, but she’s not letting him off the hook. She squints one eye and arches the other brow.

“No...something’s...come in, come in, sorry. I will figure it out though,” she says conspiratorially, dragging him through the twinkly blue and white lights trimming her doorway by his snow-dusted scarf. She slides her arms around him, under his coat, hugging him while he tries to shrug out of so many layers. She’s not making it any easier, but he doesn’t mind, cradles her close, her face against his chest, sweet and quiet until she calls out, “Darren...Darren come look at him and tell me why he’s weird!”

Darren saunters out in sweatpants, no shirt (of course), hair still damp from a shower so he must have been at rehearsal pretty late. He eyes Chris up and down, and Chris doesn’t think he imagines that Darren deliberately looks at both his wrists. Chris swallows hard, looking at Darren, being looked at...and Darren looks _good_. Darren just smiles, meanders over to the leather sofa and flops onto it, patting the seat next to him.

“Come sit with me. I missed you.”

\--

“So, we’re not going out, I take it,” Mia says brightly as Chris startles and shuffles himself over on the couch, flushed and trying to act like he wasn’t just all up in Darren’s mouth the second she went to the kitchen. “Are you _blushing_? My god that is fucking cute.”

“I figured out why he’s weird, babe,” Darren practically sings at her, his voice like clear hard candy. Chris rolls his eyes and tries to shift away from him, snatching desperately at one of the mugs Mia has carried in but Darren yanks him back by his bare wrists, pulls him against his chest and just holds, touches, rough fingers against Chris’s face. “Uh uhh, get back here...he’s all squirmy and needy and he needs to get fucked...look at him.”

Mia does the head tilt again, nods as she realizes that’s what it was. “ _Innnnnteresting_...but you’re so dommy, little krispie treat.” Darren snickers at this and Chris _seethes_ , wants to do _awful_ things to him, except how his arms are confined by the way Darren is pinning him there, and there’s really nothing left to do.

“I switch, ok? Like, not very often, just. I don’t know if it’s like a headspace thing or what...I’m not into begging and I’m _not_ letting Darren dom me,” he says with an elbow in Darren’s ribs. Mia gigglesnorts with him in agreement and Darren makes a loud gasp of offense, sinks his teeth into Chris’s neck. It’s not enough, but it hurts, and it’s Darren. Chris groans, plaintive, looks up at Mia again, pleading with his eyes as Darren nuzzles at him, all teeth and tongue and stupid beard on his neck, leaving goosebumps in his path.

“Well sweetheart, I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but I’m pretty freaking great with a strap-on,” Mia offers, smugly unbuttoning her jacket as if this settles the matter.

“I can vouch for that,” Darren chimes in, raising one hand in testimony, still clutching Chris tight and trying to work his way up his jaw to Chris’s mouth, just out of reach from this angle. Darren finally grumbles in frustration, turns and wrenches him up under his thighs, drops him flat on his back, and Chris feels the wind knocked out of him just for a breath. _Damn_. He’s on top of him and between his legs in a second, hot breath and at least four days’ scruff against Chris’s ear and Chris fucking _loves_ it. “Or I could just fuck you right here...krispie treat.”

Chris _hates_ him. He pushes himself up, leveraging on one arm and scritching his fingers through Darren’s goddamn beard, shaking his head with a bemused smirk. He taps him under the chin and just mouths, “fuck you.”

“Oh we’ll get to that one day, too,” Darren grins, pushing Chris back down on the leather sofa and crawling all over him. Chris twists against him, putting up the resistance because this feels familiar and kind of fucked up, but they’re both so fucking strong and Darren pins his wrists down over his head, shoves his knee between Chris’s thighs.

“Wasn’t in the fucking script,” Chris grits between his teeth. Darren dips down and Chris lifts up, missing each other and his hips buck up involuntarily and Darren makes a sound, low in his throat and so _sure_ Chris wants to say fuck the whole thing and flip him over and spank him until he comes right here on the couch.

Darren’s mouth finally finds his but it’s hard, way too hard, biting more than kissing until Chris yowls. Darren backs off, rests his forehead against Chris’s and they both just breathe a moment, Chris licking at the sore spot on his lip that will be swollen tomorrow. Darren frowns, kisses his lip for real, and sits up, offering his hand. Chris takes it, holds his fingers to his lips and touches them gently, looking at Darren seriously and shaking his head ever so slightly.

“Sorry,” Darren says, so quiet Chris can barely hear, not even a whisper, just a breath.

Chris opens Darren’s hand, lays his face against his palm, and just breathes. “I know. I missed you too. We’ll figure it out.”

Mia watches over the rim of her mug, swallows her drink, then sets it down and smiles.

“That’s better.”

\--

Chris watches, anxious but intrigued, as Darren helps her lace up the back of the thing that apparently straps on the thing, ornate ribbon ties and velvet reminding him of a few Shakespearean costumes he’s worn in his day. The black silicone cock juts out in contrast, stark and stiff amongst the swirls of the brocade, but also with a faint glitter, a shimmer. Chris can’t help but think it’s all very _pretty_. Mia is definitely pretty, and Darren is taking his sweet time appreciating all that pretty right now, kissing and murmuring and stroking the damn thing between her legs and Chris is going to lose his fucking mind. Finally, pretty and dark-eyed and slinky, she crawls onto the bed, towing Darren along and kissing him, heavy and deep, right until she pushes him down next to Chris.

Chris raises up on his elbows and touches Mia’s hair, combs the fingers of one hand through the long waves, brushing it back over her shoulder. They just look a while, and Mia finally shakes her head and pushes herself back, smacks one hand at Chris’s hip to break the spell.

“Do you need me to...Darren likes it kind of rough,” Mia begins, scooting back on the bed to make room for Chris’s long legs, drawing his hips back and settling him into an easy position.

“I can definitely take it rougher than Darren,” Chris cracks, ducking his head and laughing as Darren’s hand swishes at his head.

“Shut up! Oh wait, I can shut you up, here,” Darren beams, _stupid_ excited, grabbing Chris by the head and pushing him down onto his cock.

Chris has spent a _lot_ of time fantasizing about going down on Darren, starting with him still soft, spread eagle and tied at all four corners of the bed, Chris spending at least an hour tickling and licking and teasing his head out of his foreskin, feeling his cock slowly harden and push it back, feeling it slide against his tongue.

In his head it’s always a much more dramatic, slow, sensual production than this--Darren jamming his cock down Chris’s throat--but he’s taking it anyway. He’s caught off guard and wants to mourn his elegant torture fantasy for a moment but he has no time, just takes it fast, easy, his mouth wide and throat barely even twitching as he goes all the way down on Darren, resting his weight on his elbows. He works his mouth and tongue down and around, wet, warm circles, sucking at the head when he pulls back, seeing what Darren likes, what makes him tense up and what makes him grab Chris by the head and moan harder.

He tries using his lips, tight around the head, to slide the extra skin and see if it’s loose enough to work his tongue under, really all he’s been able to think about since the first time he saw it. Darren shows he approves with hands on both sides of Chris’s face, pressing in so he can feel the slide and bulge of his own dick through Chris’s cheek. Chris groans and does it again, curling his tongue inside and Darren lets go a stream of filthy utterances. Chris nods and hums, _yes_ , smiling around his cock, subconsciously lifting his ass higher in the air, offering.

“Wow you really are a switch,” Mia kind of thinks out loud. Chris imagines she must be amused at his response to Darren handling him like that--it’s not like Darren is even _rough_. Mia reaches down, gently, purposefully circles one finger around to check if Chris needs anything else first. He barely shudders as Mia pushes two fingertips in, then easily works the tip of the dildo in between them. She bears down, goes a little further in and Chris’s lips slip, stretched wide around Darren in a silent cry. He arches his neck and leans his forehead on Darren’s stomach, resting there for just a second. Mia pets his ass, soothing and push-pulling at the same time, Chris letting out a long breath as he feels his body working to accept it. The thing didn’t look that big but going in, he can definitely feel every inch now.

It aches but it’s _so_ good and Chris is suddenly very aware of his dick being hard and cramped somewhere around his abdomen and his thigh where Mia has it shoved up high and hard, just figuring out exactly how flexible he can be. He tries to shift his arms, get one where he can brace his weight and work one underneath to jerk himself off but Mia catches him by the shoulder and holds him back from doing either and _fuck_ she is strong. He chokes a little, eyes tearing up as Darren hits the back of his throat while he’s off balance. “Nope, not a chance. Hands on the bed, or on Darren. Darren, hold his fucking arms down.”

His eyes water and Darren restrains him like he was told but doesn’t thrust, doesn’t try to choke him, it’s all just gravity and Chris, spit slipping down his chin as he keeps sucking Darren off, Darren occasionally muttering some dirty words of encouragement but Chris wants more from him, from himself. He wants to make Darren come even worse than he wants to touch himself and just as he thinks he’s figured out a rhythm, thinks he has Darren on the edge by the way his fingers tighten on Chris’s arms, he falters and Darren’s dick pops from his lips and Chris actually _whines_ in frustration.

“You need...to fucking...let go,” Mia enunciates, stern, voice steady and measured, tangling her hand in his hair, _hard_ , and Chris is about to break.

“I just...I don’t know how, Mia. I want to touch, and I want to make him come, and I just...fuck.” He trails off and drops his head in the tiny bit of slack Mia’s grasp allows him, the wet tip of Darren’s dick brushing against his cheek. He feels Darren’s fingertips on his arm, light little caresses, gentle and infuriating. Mia snaps her hips up and fucks into him so hard he sees actual fucking stars.

He lets go.

\--

“What else...what else do you want to do?” Darren purrs, letting his hands rove all over. Chris swallows and looks up at Darren, searching his eyes, so comforting to him, always, but now they look _dark_. Chris feels dark too, and deep, deep, somewhere down in it. He’s sitting up now, and he’s not sure how. Mia’s still inside him and Darren’s just touching him everywhere, chest and nipples and so much skin that’s always covered up and it feels _amazing_. Chris didn’t know...he just didn’t know.

So Chris lets them. Mia shifts him a little, sliding his ass further back onto her and tilting up to that spot. His chin drops against his chest, and Darren laughs, dark and low, reaches to tilt Chris’s jaw up and just look at him, waiting for him to find his voice again.

“That thing you wanted...with your throat. Was it...” Chris feels overly aware of his own breathing, heavy and labored and like he can just barely keep up with it.

Darren smiles and nods slowly, places one hand on Chris’s chest and one on his back, as if to steady him, to feel his lungs filling and emptying with each breath. “Mmmm...we’ve been playing with it some...just a little.”

“So you like...I think about it sometimes.” Chris gives a breathless grunt and reaches for Darren as Mia gives him another good jolt from her hips, reminding Darren his hands are still free and they aren’t supposed to be.

“Sorry...got distracted. But if you wanna try it...try it with us. Please?” Darren requests, simply, lifting Chris’s hand to kiss each of his knuckles and fingers before passing his hands behind his body to Mia. She murmurs sweetly in his ear as she slips the leather cuffs around his wrists and buckles the straps, both of them letting out a slow, deep sigh as he settles into it. He feels so much better and feels like it must be really obvious, but he doesn’t have to worry about that anymore.

“Ohhh, there you go, good, sweet Chris...Darren he’s fucking beautiful,” she rasps, her hair dragging over Chris’s back tickling him, making him shiver before she tosses it over her shoulder. She holds him close, pulls his arms down taut and lets him lean against her chest, rolling his hips against her thighs.

“You’re both so fucking beautiful.” Chris only faintly hears the words before Darren’s mouth is on his, familiar but fucked up, that feeling again. He feels Mia sigh in his ear, her lips brush the back of his neck. Darren’s still kissing him when suddenly there are fingers wrapping around his cock he’d finally somehow started to ignore, and he shudders, almost falls apart on the spot but Mia keeps him together.

“Not yet...just feel my hand. It will still be there, ok? Not moving it away, I promise.” She’s talking, soft, lilting syllables at his ear and he doesn’t so much hear it as understand it, rocking with just the slightest tilt of his hips between fucking himself on her dildo and forward into her hand.

There’s just breathing, and rhythm, and it’s already practically perfect when he feels Darren’s fingers curl loosely about his neck. His eyes float open and he sees Darren, leaning just over his shoulder to kiss Mia, drumming his fingertips lightly against Chris’s throat as he pulls away and he can _feel_ Mia hum, pleased, right behind him. She tightens her grip around his dick, more friction, more _intent_ , and Chris feels another shift, a quiver inside him.

“Darren’s got your throat...if that’s what you want. I know you trust him...just want to be sure you’re all here, ok, baby?” Mia squeezes around his ass with her thighs, never taking her hand away, true to her word. Chris nods emphatically, keeping the rhythm going and thrusting forward into her hand as best he can. Darren’s hand is on his neck and he rolls his head on his shoulders, feels the clasp Darren has on him, feels that it’s real, and good. He smiles up at him, serene.

“I’m fine...I was away...for a bit. But I’m not under, now.”

“You will be, though...you go, like, totally under. And you can’t safeword...but I’ll just barely, I mean...I’m so careful.” Darren explains, looking almost pained at how badly he wants Chris to know he’ll be safe. Darren lowers his head once more, very close to Chris, the pads of his fingers still thrumming against Chris’s tendons, his arteries, his scar. Chris nods, presses his lips together for Darren to kiss, and he does, Chris whispering into mouth, “I understand.”

\--

His eyes are shut, not really concentrating or anticipating or anything but feeling, back in the perfect rocking rhythm with Mia, the throb in his cock and the flutter of her fingertips gliding over the head, the shower of sparks inside every time she strikes that spot, slower now as their muscles tire from exertion but building, finally, all over at once, catching like little embers at every synapse of every nerve.

Darren’s fingers constrict and he feels safe, so safe and free, then Mia’s fingers are at his lips and he opens his mouth, sucks them inside, sucking and being fucked and the darkness behind his eyelids grows even blacker, the flecks of light whiter. He hears Mia’s voice, barely even a whisper, “bite down if you need to come back.”

He lets go.

\--

Chris doesn’t know what he really expected this to feel like--he’d watched Darren as he’d made him slip away, had imagined it was something like that passing out game everyone played in theater when they were too young to get hold of real drugs. There is a little bit of it that is like that...swimmy and lightheaded and maybe a little bit...trippy? _Such a Darren thing to think_ , he thinks, distantly.

Mostly what he notices is that his body is nearly completely unwound, loose and weightless, other people encircling him and doing the job of holding him up, arms and hands here, there, yes, still on his cock, the only thing he can distinctly feel anymore, marveling at how he hasn’t come yet, and no sooner does he think it and try to form the slightest crackle of a moan from his throat, Darren’s clear hard candy voice is there, answering everything.

“Chris, you can...ok, come. Yeah, come on.” His eyes squeeze tighter and his mouth drops open, an actual gasp this time as he goes over, literally like a hill on a roller coaster. His stomach kicks and drops and he feels his ass, _my god_ his ass, the toy is still in there and right where it should be and he trembles.

Everything, everything trembles as he comes, and comes, hands on him and mouths on his face, kissing his cheeks and praising him, praising him coming all over them, himself. He feels amazing. He feels like laughing. He lets go.

\--

He’s never gotten a woman off before. He’s only _sort of_ doing it now, to be fair, but he knows enough about her, enough about bodies, to know he’s definitely helping. They’re sprawled out every which way, Mia finally rid of all the trappings, Darren buried inside of her, Chris’s wrists unbound, holding her hip with one hand and holding a curved, apparently very fancy vibrator up against her. She’s grinding against it, riding his hand and squeaking out the word _fuck_ a lot, and Darren’s fucking her, just properly, awesomely fucking his girlfriend from behind and Chris is watching the whole thing and helping her get off, and it’s pretty fucking awesome.

“I want to...Mia, can I touch you?” He whispers, feels bold and curious and her hair falls all over her face, and him. She laughs a little between other noises and Darren maybe _growls_.

“Of course you can...here, baby,” she takes his hand and guides it back, the vibe still staying basically where it was and he touches...warm and wet and slick where Darren’s cock is going into her, his finger sliding along where their bodies meet, and Darren _definitely_ growls, speeds up his hips, whipping Mia’s attention back around to him. “Darren don’t you dare fucking come yet!”

He holds out, and when Mia finally comes, Chris can feel it all, his fingers tucked up against her where she throbs and quivers around Darren’s dick, her clit pulsing on the edge of Chris’s hand when she pushes the vibrator away. Darren works one hand around to join Chris’s, showing him, simply, “again...right here.” His fingers slip between her folds, Darren knowing exactly where and how, Chris just enjoying the feeling of them, of watching her come again and again.

\--

“So...” Mia starts with the air of someone about to make a big proclamation. She presses her red lips together and reaches across the table to take Chris’s hand. He raises his eyebrows and suddenly slaps his hand over his mouth with a completely stereotypical gay gasp.

“Oh my god you’re not....”

Mia squints at him. Like, really squints. Twists her mouth and furrows her brow and searches his face.

“I’m not...shipping out with the Navy? Accepting Jesus in my heart? I’m...oh my _god_ , Christopher Colfer, you bite your fucking tongue. I am not pregnant, you _ass_. Can I get a martini over here?” She flaps her hands at her face and at him and at the entire situation.

“Well! You got all breathy and dramatic and I don’t know what you’re going to say. And, you know, _your way_ does have that result sometimes, just saying...” Chris side eyes her and picks up his Diet Coke to sip at it superiorly.

“Not when we do it in the butt,” she snaps right back. Chris almost inhales his straw. “ _Anyway_ ,” she finally goes on. “What I was going to say, is that Darren and I had The Talk.”

Chris furrows his own brow, sits back with his arms crossed, tight and drawing away from her. “You...you broke up?”

Mia, thank god, tosses her head back and cackles at the mere suggestion, blowing her bangs out of her face when she’s done and shaking her head at him in disbelief. “What, _fuck_ no, come on. I can’t shake that guy any more than you can. You know that.”

Chris nods, knowing as soon as she says it, it’s true. “Ok, so. Without giving me yet another heart attack today, what _capital T and air quotes talk_ do you actually mean?”

She smiles at him, her mouth twisting in that devious way again, and it makes Chris almost nervous how much he adores her. She puts her hand up to shade her eyes and squints at him again, cocks her head. “Are you thinking about how I fucked you right now?”

Chris laughs softly and rubs his eyes. “Yes. Maybe. Sometimes. Seriously, what have I gotten myself into?”

Mia drums her red nails on the table and quirks her lips again. “I told you. Awesomeness. Ok. You and Darren...it’s special. I mean I knew that already. It was special before you got in his pants, and now it’s like. It’s its own thing. We have this thing, you know? And you guys...I just don’t want you to hold anything back from him. Because you think it’s toe-stepping. Do you know what I mean?”

Chris nods but doesn’t say anything, waves his hand to tell her, _I do, but keep talking._

“I want you to be with him, in every way you can be with him. And it doesn’t matter, if I’m here, or you’re in New York, or whatever. I don’t...have to be there. Or be part of it, for that matter! If you...want him. Wait that came out wrong.” She gets a tiny bit flustered, like she’s gotten lost in her own head, a look Chris has never seen on her. It makes him ache. He leans across the table to take her hand back.

“So, if I’m hearing this right. You want me to...be Darren’s dom, if we want...or take him on dates, if we want? Or sleep with both of you? Are we all dating? I’m actually seeing this other guy a little bit too so this is extremely complicated...” He trails off in a laugh, trying to make her laugh, get that sad look off her face and get back to the ridiculousness of this. It works. She pushes her hair back again and looks at him, and he knows she adores him, too.

“More like...you should sleep with him. You should love him. You don’t have to tie him up...every time, anyway. And I don’t know who this other guy is but it won’t last.” She winks at him and they both laugh, because they both know it’s true. “Darren’s gonna be around, and be ours, a really long time. And there’s no box for him. We just have to...do what works, and be good to each other.”

Chris sits a minute, taking all of this in, very slowly nodding and processing.

“...shit.”

Mia tilts her head in concern, looks at him sideways. “Good shit? Bad shit?”

“Just...no, good. Shit. I’m going to kiss you now.” Chris gets up and steps in close to her, leans down and kisses her just once, firm, soft, sweet, on her pretty red lips. “I just...really needed to do that. Ok.” He sits back down, shrugs. “It’s all good shit. I will do my best to be Darren’s sort of boyfriend, and fuck him when he’s being a cockslut, and get that electrical...sparkle...wand thingy you were talking about to zap him when he’s a spastic headcase?”

“He _loves_ that thing, you don’t even understand. He thinks he’s so hardcore. It’s like getting shocked by socks in the winter.”

“And lots of cuddling.”

“And never withhold kissing again.”

“ _Oooh_. That bad?”

“It made him _so_ sad, krispie treat.” Mia pouts.

Chris grimaces and giggles at her. “Ok, I love you Mia, but you can’t ever, ever call me that in front of other people.”

Mia smirks. “Never!”

\--

“So, you invited me over to your house so you could tie me to your bed.”

“Correct.”

“And you just want to go down on me for like, eight hours or something.”

“That’s ambitious but sure.” Chris ties the last knot, little bit of tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration.

“And I can’t get up, and I’m not going to come for a really long time. But I get to sleep over! And you want me stay tomorrow too.”

“If it pleases you, yes, I would like that very much.”

“Is it my birthday?”

“It _was_ your birthday. And I didn’t see you on your birthday. So you can call this your birthday if you want, but this is for _me_. It’s a lucky coincidence that it’s going to be extremely pleasurable for you, as well,” Chris answers, trailing his hand along randomly, Darren’s foot, his knee, his hipbone.

“Are you going to gag me?” Darren asks, matter of factly. He licks his lips.

“It’s not necessary...for the fantasy. Do you want me to gag you?”

“No, I just...no. This is...a fantasy? I am?” Darren cranes his neck up.

“Yes and a rather elaborate one you kind of took from me. So. I’m just going to...make myself comfortable down here.”

“I’ll try not to talk too much,” Darren whispers, letting his neck relax and drop into the soft pillow.

Chris pats his side, ducks his head down, resting his cheek against Darren’s inner thigh and staring up at him, all of him. “It’s ok. I like hearing you talk.” Chris says it softly, dreamily, looking at Darren all over, knowing that Darren can _see_ him looking.

\--

All of Chris’s fancy knots are untied and forgotten and Darren is on his stomach in the middle of the bed _laughing_. He’s laughing because Chris has just asked him possibly the stupidest question ever as he’s spreading Darren’s ass and flicking the tip of his tongue down the middle: “Have you done this before?” In his defense, Chris knows it was stupid almost immediately, and is trying hard not to laugh at himself.

Darren _does_ laugh though, flings his head back and teases, “You have actually met Mia, right?” Chris slaps him on one fleshy cheek, but he chuckles to himself anyway, figuring that’s probably an interesting sensation as he works his way into Darren’s ass with wet kisses and long laps of his tongue.

Darren squirms and kicks his feet against the bed as Chris pushes his tongue inside, getting him slick and open and he just seems so _happy_. Chris slips his hand underneath him to stroke him, sighs against Darren’s ass as he feels the soft skin sliding in his hand. Darren wiggles and pushes up on his elbows, pushes his hips back looking for something, for more.

Chris licks one more time around the delicate flesh, then slides one finger in his mouth, gets it as wet as he can, and starts to push into him, just a tiny bit. He sits up a little, rests his cheek on Darren’s lower back as he slowly pushes in the finger. “Hmmm...babe? Would you want...do you want me to fuck you?”

Darren turns his face where he’s resting on his arms, tries to look back at Chris. Chris rolls off of him so they can see each other.

“I’ve...never done that. I mean. With a guy. I mean, I’m sure I could...take it?” Darren looks bashful when he says it, and Chris’s gut clenches, a sense memory somewhere in the twisty dark place. He smiles though, reaches up to gently tickle down Darren’s shoulder, over his hip.

“I know you haven’t. The physical part is...just physics. Me being inside you would be...it’s different.”

Darren nods in his arms, peeking out at Chris from one eye, and Chris can tell he’s smiling.

“Can we switch, too?” Darren blurts suddenly, excited bouncy ridiculous, and Chris can’t believe he has to ask. He crawls up over his body and tackles him, burrows his face in the back of Darren’s neck and covers his shoulders with kisses.

“I want to do everything with you.”

\--

“Should we call Mia so you can brag about what you just did to me?” Darren asks when Chris is back in bed from cleaning them both up. He’s giggly and completely sex stupid right now, and Chris absolutely loves it.

“Mmmmm, naptime first. Then technology.” Chris yawns, stretching his spine and taking up as much of his side of the bed as he can.

“K. I had a pretty elaborate fantasy worked out about you, too, you know,” Darren says in the direction of the ceiling fan, reaching over to blindly grope at Chris and pull him closer on the bed.

Chris turns over on his side to find some cool sheet and more Darren, drapes his arm, heavy and tired down to his bones, across Darren’s stomach. “You did?” His eyes are heavy, and Darren is warm, still stupid happy smiling, and feels like his. It feels familiar, and not that fucked up. “Has any of it come true?”

Darren nods, mouthing kisses against Chris’s shoulder and settling in. “Mmmmm hmmm. It’s going pretty well for me so far.”

 


End file.
